I’m the Parasite, and welcome to my life.

This is a creative writing project in the shape of a blog—or a blog in the shape of a creative writing project. It depends on the day. I started writing because my conscience works much better on paper than it does in the moment. But paper has a habit of growing. The more I bleed into this space, the more it demands to be fed.

It features personal narratives about what it’s like to live with Borderline Personality Disorder, Histrionic Personality Disorder, and Complex PTSD—told by someone who has all three and isn’t interested in making them sound pretty or palatable. Some entries will make you laugh. Some will make you uncomfortable. Some will do both at the same time. That’s kind of the point.

Every piece has a song at the top. Listen to it first or don’t—but it’s there for a reason. There’s no order. Start wherever. Each entry is its own world. You don’t need context from the last one to understand the next.

I don’t always come out looking like the good guy in these. That’s intentional. Destigmatization doesn’t mean making mental illness look cute—it means showing the full picture, including the parts that make people flinch.

In each entry, you’ll run across the host. Don’t fret. The host is an autonomous repository Linux server, and it is only here to contain, index, and protect raw diagnostic data from outside civilian contamination. Data consumption initializes immediately upon page load; your presence expands the infrastructure.

I’m nineteen. I’m anonymous. And this is the most honest I’ve ever been.

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• CRITICAL EXPOSURE WARNING: This project contains explicit discussions of self-harm, suicidal ideation, abuse, sexual trauma, substance use, disordered relationships, and psychiatric hospitalization. Continued engagement constitutes consent to narrative ingestion. Read with care.
• METAFICTION NOTICE: The narrator and the writer are two completely different entities. To learn more about the creator behind the keyboard—and what happens when the console goes dark—press “The Author” page.